Raul and Amelina on the beauty of marriage and the abundant gifts of Natural Family Planning
Raul and Amelina Mendoza say marriage is an “outward sign of God’s presence in the world,” as they talk about their own 31-year marriage journey. Indeed, a certain wisdom manifests as they casually, lovingly share their gifts –
experience, communication, forgiveness, love and trust in God. They conduct marriage preparation sessions in Spanish for St. Joseph Parish in Elk Grove.
“We tell couples that the vows they profess when they get married are made true and visible with Natural Family Planning,” says Amelina of the introductory class which discusses methods to avoid or achieve pregnancy without
the use of drugs, devices or surgical interventions. Impugning these artificial alternatives, Raul adds that instead, Natural Family Planning (NFP) recognizes that “the miracle of life is a true gift to the world.”
Accepting, not rejecting
Amelina insists the beauty of NFP reveals itself in love; in “not rejecting any part of each other, but accepting all.”
Both Raul and Amelina distinguish the interior commitment each spouse makes in service to God and each other. They describe a beautiful interplay of expression, and a deep respect for the needs, limits and layers of
married life.
Candidly, Amelina reports, “sometimes there can be resentment” and a woman may feel a burden or sense disconnection, if a couple does not unite in awareness, openness and acceptance of the ever-present possibility of life.
“To know your husband is involved and engaged in this area of the relationship,” Amelina suggests is “to grow so much in appreciation for his life.” With eloquence and confidence, Raul and Amelina convey how NFP teaches never to
be closed to the potential that “God has children for them” and grace for those willing to receive it.
“NFP shows couples to express their love when abstaining during fertile days of the cycle,” Amelina says, but it also develops a profound sense of appreciation and gratitude as they look forward to the gift of self. “I have nothing but love for him,” she says of Raul.
Free yourself from the adversity of the world
The Mendozas are listed in the diocesan directory of NFP practitioners and welcome the opportunity to instruct couples in Spanish or English. When not helping engaged couples to prepare for married life, Raul and Amelina see other couples who turn to NFP for health reasons primarily rooted in their disfavor and concern with contraceptives. They also see couples who experience a profound conversion to the teachings of the faith and hold a desire to convert to God’s plan.
“A lot of times, couples are not really thinking about this,” Raul laments, urging couples to pray about “what you’re doing in your life” to recognize and pursue integrity of heart and live this “God-given gift.”
“Free yourself from the adversity of the world, all the methods that the world offers,” Raul cautions, linking so many modern-day marriage miseries to the false promises of contraceptives. He implores couples to realize how the world’s offerings are “so damaging to the relationship,” and to a woman’s physical and emotional health.
Raul and Amelina have practiced the Billings Ovulation Method for 23 years and stress that the charting methodology is “quite simple.” They were taught the method when they made the decision to practice NFP. However, in their instruction they do give insight into all NFP methods.
Their formal certification training to prepare them to teach included four days of workshops in San Francisco and two subsequent years of intensive practicum, working with couples in various seasons of life. They received certification in 2019.
“It was in our heart,” Amelina says with thanksgiving for their own beautiful experience. “We wanted to teach and give our testimony, and God put this right into our hands.”
Powerful testimony
Raul and Amelina speak frankly about their own conversion experience.
“It was a dark time in our marriage,” Raul remembers of their early life together. Amelina explains that within five years, the couple welcomed two beautiful daughters who are now adults ages 30 and 27. Then, “we had a crisis,” Amelina admits, pointing to a decision for a tubal ligation.
“We didn’t see our future, but God brought us back. God knew,” Raul testifies.
“We experienced conversion and we realized we made a mistake,” Amelina says of their move to reverse the procedure, learn the Billings Method and begin practicing NFP.
They transformed their relationship prayerfully and attribute their spiritual healing, in many ways, to NFP. Years later, Raul and Amelina were blessed with two more daughters, who today are 17 and 15, respectively.
Their closer, more trusting relationship with God led them to their NFP ministry and mission to convey the NFP message within their own family, parish and larger community. They want couples and families to share in the God-designed joy for married life.
“Support is so important,” Amelina stresses, if couples are to achieve the life-affirming goals of NFP: support for each other; support found in the clergy’s advocacy; practitioners’ guidance; and support evidenced by the shared values of family and community.
Whether postponing or preparing for pregnancy, Raul cites NFP’s 99.8 percent effectiveness, stating, “When you learn it, it works.”
“We haven’t had a couple say the method has failed,” Amelina adds.
Benefits entire family, future
The Mendoza’s home presents a panorama of gratitude. Outdoor “word art” offers up a perpetual “Thankful” prayer to God in their garden. A chalkboard in their kitchen bears the names of those they keep in unceasing prayer.
“NFP is a way to slow down and smell the roses,” Amelina suggests. She says they have given “the basics” of the method to all their daughters.
She knows that children who grow up in NFP homes benefit and carry on a deep reverence for life. Certified as a Theology of the Body teacher and youth ministry leader for Challenge Greater Sacramento, Amelina also brings awareness to Catholic youth to introduce them to the beauty of life in age-appropriate ways.
“We keep our faith,” Raul assures, resolute in the wisdom of NFP to make true and visible the counsels of God.
LEARN MORE
About Natural Family Planning in the diocese at www.scd.org/nfp